dear word press
it is a brand new year.
i’m hoping we can be friends.
i ended the year thinking i never want to see you again.
but thanks to a dear friend introducing us . . .
intervening and mending all our battles
throughout our three year relationship . . .
he always convinces me to stay.
but he doesn’t have TIME to keep
messing with you FOR ME.
you are complicated in the extreme.
and i just don’t get you.
oh for heaven’s sake word press
when i type a post now
every single time i hit enter
to start a new line or change a word or delete a letter
it’s a jarring irritation.
ever since your last updates and plug ins or whatever
you’ve been jumping clean to the end or the beginning
of the screen constantly.
i have to scroll UP or DOWN and SEARCH
just to FIND MY PLACE AGAIN!
it’s not only irritating but DIZZY making!
i want to love you.
but we are not compatible in the least.
i live a
simple and elegant and frugal life.
i do not mind change.
i grew up with more CHANGE than most people
have in a lifetime.
i also grew up a wasp.
wear your pearls.
comport yourself as a lady at all times.
look for quality.
if it’s not broken
don’t fix it.
simple little edicts of life.
and yet . . .
you make me want to strip your ass
with every bad word in my vocabulary.
i know you think you’re doing wonders
there in your little geek room.
tweaking and messing with
but give me a break.
EVERY SINGLE TIME
you do your fancy
it causes nothing but
and YES I’M YELLING !!!
i’m that frustrated.
at least let me opt out of your fancy dancy
” improvements “
or i shall have to call off our
with grudging love
bordering on hate
your loving mistress
this may be the end of a
not so beautiful friendship wp.
til much later.
given the situation . . .
once again . . .
my new year resolution will be
alas and alack and as it were . . .
there is no humor in that laugh.
today it is maniacal.
and . . .
just FYI for all you wonderful peanut followers
the captain may be doing whatever magic he does
to fix things here.
so if it’s offline or looks weird for a little while . . .
he’s running interference with the wp geeks for me.
thank you for your OWN patience.
love you old bean!