it matters not
if your glass holds champagne.
my own will be holding sparkling white grape juice
and ginger ale!
and it will be in a simple little glass.
what matters i’m thinking
is that we toast to this new year when it comes.
and waiting. and almost here!
i always want to clear things out about now.
clearing out near the eve of the new year.
both physical things and mental things.
it refreshes my spirit. my whole self.
it’s been that way for as long as i can remember.
i embrace change.
i find i want my clean spare life
to be even cleaner and more spare these days.
i suddenly feel a rushing of time somehow.
and i want to slow it down.
to only hold dear what matters.
to think more about what matters.
to keep what is needed to live a true life.
i like that my life is small.
it suits me.
i shoo away the monsters in my attic.
the attic of my mind.
i feel like the little girl that is still me.
she sees no ill will.
she braves all.
she loves life.
she is shy.
she doesn’t talk when there’s nothing to say.
i want to be like her again.
i want to be her again. and i will.
she likes new starts.
she likes the blank white page.
she likes to move furniture around!
my toast for you this year is
a bit o’ the wee.
it’s for . . .
when new friends meet.
and we have been new friends.
and my life is richer for it too.
i have no idea where my childhood friends are
that i sporadically grew up with!
i know many of you far better than i ever knew them.
until we must toast the black watch . . .
and i hope it is not this coming year for any of us! . . .
i drink to you old bean.
a bit o’ the wee.
and hearts caring.
and since we are friends
i will share with you here a decision i have made.
and not made lightly.
i have decided to take the peanut off the table.
i spend far too much time at this computer.
and truth to tell . . . it’s still doctor’s orders to not sit here long.
and yet i’ve sneaked back into the habit. it’s so addictive!
this year of 2013 has been a rugged ride.
i had a few surprises that i think have been meant to maybe
wake me up.
i will be making some changes for my health.
i will be spending my time
simply living life more.
i need to get out into the fresh air.
to walk as best i can. to simply move around more.
i’ve got to get my health back.
and i know all too well that . . . much as i love it . . .
sitting here will not do it.
i want to read more books instead of the computer.
to cook fresh vegetables
instead of frozen dinners
that are eaten here before this screen! LOL.
i have enjoyed every minute of being with you.
of sharing my silly pontifications with you!
(all of you are so patient about that. and kind!)
and of sharing my stories with you . . .
my bob . . . and my past . . . the funny . . . the touching . . .
but now it’s the present.
and i want to be in it fully
and in person!
i’ll be dropping by your own blogs for sure because
i love them!
i’ll be visiting them all. only maybe not as often.
and perhaps i won’t make so many comments on them.
i truly feel right now like i’ve said it all. i do!
and i’m very tired of my own voice.
i am old bean.
i’m not quite sure how it works.
whether the peanut sits here for awhile
or whether it goes out into the ether.
if it sits here . . . and you find you miss me . . .
well . . . you can always visit the past posts!
every one of them is on the side bar alphabetically by title.
actually . . . come to think of it . . .
i may just pay whatever the fee is to keep it up for awhile.
i might like to take the time to read back over everything
someday my own self.
i had so much fun doing them!
and the pictures from the web were
always nothing short of spectacular.
there are some very talented people out there.
many of you among them!
alas and as it were!
and to you that are really special friends now . . .
well. you have my email address.
and i have yours.
and to my beloved captain.
to whom i have said nothing about this
for fear he would talk me out of it in his gruff pirate way . . .
i thank you kind sir
for building this perfect little website for me.
it was a total surprise.
a delightful gift.
and for always helping me with anything at the drop of a hat . . . thank you.
it has been loads of fun.
and i’ve met the best people in the world.
my captain included.
so that makes it ALL GOOD.
it’s been grand old bean.
it’s been simply grand!
sayin’ a hearfelt good bye here.
but i will be seeing you around the web!
your comments as always are so welcomed by me.
you know i treasure them.
i’ll put them on this last post but i won’t reply to them.
it would just be too much like pulling off a band aid for me!
feeling tears welling a little even now.
good grief charlie brown. dragging this out.
a snoopy hug for you old bean.