flat out embarrassed



image of embarrassed

good grief charlie brown.


my friend celia called me.

she asked if i’d been on the peanut.  she knew the answer.

i have not even been able to turn it on.

i have been like a SLUG.

moving from bed to chair.  from chair to bed.


she said there were 29 responses.


when she told me that . . .

i knew my captain had been on and moderated so they’d be seen.

thank you captain.


and here is the truth.

i have just sat here reading them.

tears streaming.

i have not cried since this all began.

but your words let loose a dam of emotion.


i had no idea what it’s like to be loved so much.

thank you old bean.


this is the first day i have felt like even remotely myself!

but just as in some of the stories of your own selves . . .

it could be SO MUCH WORSE !!!


all my life i have equated everything i go through to

the holocaust.  and to what those people suffered who went through it.


and so far . . .  my suffering doesn’t even begin to stack up  . . .

not nearly.


as i gain in strength i will keep in touch.

i so wanted to be able to post some fun stuff again.

i had a story i wanted to tell you.

about the time i nearly cost the university a multi million dollar lawsuit.

but i’ll tell you about it in january.


time to wrap this up.

i dare not get mushy here.

my heart is nigh onto spilling over even as it is.


and the captain doesn’t like it!!!   not his type of wimmin!


i am buckling my swash.  (i think it’s long pantaloons that you hold up with a belt!)

and i am hanging in to fight another day.


on november 5  i will be adding a new specialist to my collection of doctors.

this one is a vascular specialist.  and i’ve been told she’s very good.

maybe we’ll get to the end of this.


and now . . .

signing off here and thanking you for hanging in all this with me.

i’m thinking your support is what i’ve been going on.  cause it surely hasn’t been my own energy!

 and i know you each have enough going on in your own lives!!!

and those who shared your stories about your own health are just heartening and amazing.


my timer just went off.  time’s up.


all my love old bean.

all my love and a major snoopy hug.