it’s late. and as i finish this now . . . it’s wednesday night.
i’ll post it for ‘ thankful thursday ‘ early on thursday morning.
i’ve come back up here to the top of this to apologize.
this post became WAY WAY too long. and i do apologize.
see there? just one WAY would have been enough! good grief.
i promise from now on they’ll ALL BE SHORT POSTS.
i’d go back and shorten this one even now . . . but i’m too tired!
my energy for it is gone! LOL.
so . . . if you’re up to it . . .
thank you for slogging through it with me !!!
THAT’S what i’m REALLY thankful for!
that you do seem to keep slogging through each one.
THANK YOU old bean !
yes. they roll around fast these thankful thursdays.
but that’s a good thing.
because i don’t know about you . . . but i need a good reminder of
all the things i’m truly thankful for. there are SO many!
and this one has a rather personal meaning for me.
the last one did too! it was all about being thankful for my marine.
but today . . . i find that i’m truly thankful
for something that in truth . . .
i’ve had rather a ‘ love ~ hate ‘ relationship with.
and that is the esteemed medical profession.
this according to wikipedia is the actual first and ancient symbol of medicine.
it’s from the greeks. they believed there was healing in the serpent!
and it said that it was common for ‘modern medical rooms in those days’ to allow
many non venomous serpents to slither around the room the patients were in.
JUST SHOOT ME NOW !!!
for pete’s sake!!!
this is the western version of the ancient symbol and it is the one used today.
it signifies the medical profession. we all know that.
and there’s those snakes!
here’s what i’m thankful for . . .
amazing men. and women.
amazing individuals that make medicine and surgery their life’s work.
they seem to be tireless. and their expertise is simply incredible.
people’s lives are very often in their hands… the very survival of that person!
what a responsibility. what kind of person will take that responsibility head on? !!!
i’m so thankful i live in an area of the world that has clean and modern facilities.
where it is a recognized and valued fact that the very basics start with
the amazing dexterous hands of the surgeon.
he can’t really afford to have an “off day” or rather . . . a “bad day” . . .
your life might depend on it!
and speaking of life and continued living . . .
i’m also thankful for the medical pathologists . . .
the ones who make it their life’s work to detect cancer . . .
and who must inwardly rejoice everytime their wise and responsible eyes
look through the incredible equipment and determine the results
i cannot believe that it could ever become a dull moment for them
knowing that on the other end . . . someone is rejoicing at that news.
and . . .
by the same token . . .
how heartbreaking it would be to discover the opposite.
i guess they probably have to keep it completely clinical in their minds.
otherwise they couldn’t stand it.
i’m so thankful for those people! and those machines.
and for all the knowledge that has led up to them being able to do their jobs!
and that . . . that real spark of desire to become a professional in their field.
that little spark that steadied their course.
and they pursued it. and spent all those years and years of hard study and work . . .
for their benefit and for the benefit of us ALL !!!!
and i have fussed just like everybody about the expense of all of this.
as if it should come cheap.
it’s a hot and very controversial topic. one that i certainly don’t want to entertain here on
the lowly peanut !!!
it’s enough for me right now to simply appreciate it all for what it is.
a way to save lives and help with the suffering of people.
the same people . . .
. . . that in days long ago would be doomed to unspeakable pain and deaths.
i’m not forgetting nurses here. they are special people indeed.
i quite literally owe my own life to four incredible nurses.
they brought me back from cardiac arrest in the heart stent recovery room.
that was in 2004. and i’ve never forgotten them.
oh ‘just a nurse’ people say. NO. never “just nurses” to me!
they’re very special.
so special as a matter of fact . . . they deserve their very own post.
and speaking of special . . .
how’s this for a special room?
and when it’s peopled by those who spend hours on their feet holding our life
in their hands . . . it looks like this . . .
my bob’s surgery took very close to 9 hours.
a team worked on him. they took part of his stomach to rebuild his esophagus.
really . . . two surgeries in one.
talk about a long day.
i waited in the surgical waiting room.
dr brit stopped and called me every three hours to let me know how bob was doing.
when he finally walked into the room to find me . . . bob was in intensive care recovery
and i was asleep in my chair. it was dark outside.
his white clogs were the first things i saw. they were covered in blue baggies.
there was blood on the baggy i remember. odd.
i looked up into this amazing man’s face. he was utterly exhausted.
these are the ones this post is about.
not for all the lesser ones out there . . .
and i know there are some ~ we’ve all heard about them . . .
but . . .
it’s for all the great ones . . .
the doctor brits of the world are the ones i write about.
not enough good can be said about them!
i have some good news myself old bean !
the very best news one can hear i think. at least to me. as much as it has lurked in my family.
you know. the C word.
it took bob and his dad. and my mother. and the marine’s wife.
so . . .
i was a bit anxious.
as a matter of fact i wasn’t ever even going to mention it here on the peanut.
but the truth is i have been feeling so TERRIBLE …
LOUSEY … CRAPPY … AWFUL … JUST PLAIN YUKKY !!!
how’s that for peanut drama?
anyway old bean. i mention it now because the worst is almost over.
i see the light at the end of this silly tunnel and i have decided
that i’m going to mainly rest til it really is over.
the posts here for awhile will be few and far between.
and after this one . . . i HOPE a LOT SHORTER !!!
the marine doesn’t even read them anymore. he says they’re just too long! LOLOLOL.
here’s where my problem is.
this is where it is. i’ve had a thyroid problem for years. taking meds for it.
nothing unusual there . . . just like a lot of people. especially women it seems.
at the cardiologist’s though . . . i told him i was having terrible pain in my throat.
and had been for quite awhile. and now it’s getting much worse
and really bad upon any kind of exertion.
he heard no blockage in my carotid artery. and anyway this pain is over my whole throat!
he immediately ordered an ultra sound.
so i had that.
a week after the marine left i got the results back.
it showed 6 tumors. the largest one right in the middle … right at the trachea.
five of them they call nodules and they’re on the thyroid itself.
very common with thyroid problems and not painful themselves normally.
it’s the big tumor in the middle that’s the real problem.
the next step in all this was to have an endocrinologist do biopsies.
he took 6 biopsies.
and said i would know the results in a week.
the big one … the one that’s causing all the problems is that tumor right at the trachea.
it’s causing a choking sensation. and great pain.
nerves or circulation blockage . . . they won’t know til they get in there.
the one there in the middle of my throat is over 4 centimeters.
they will remove the entire thyroid gland plus the big tumor leaning on the trachea.
i’m so thankful to soon be getting rid of ALL of it!
seriously old bean. i want my life back.
i used to walk long and long with my zeke. and since having this tumor in my throat
where it is . . . the pain is too great upon any little exertion at all now.
i’ve just been gradually winding down because of it.
even shopping for groceries is a chore.
i just have to continually stop and stand there a little while for the pain to subside.
i pretend i’m trying to remember what i need to buy . . . like i forgot my list
or something. LOLOL !!!
‘ look at that poor silver haired dear. she’s just senile. how sad! ‘ LOL.
well. i’m sorry. there’s certainly nothing funny about real senility.
but truly. i must look comical.
when it’s taken out i plan to start walking a lot again. and feeling so much better!
the surgery will be done by a 41 year old dynamo. i met him on monday.
he was referred to me by the endocrinologist who did the 6 biopsies about 2 weeks ago.
another dynamo. they look like they never tire. or get sick!
and they both look to me like they’re teenagers! LOL.
that week i had to wait for the biopsies report to come back was
a long one old bean!
and on one of those nights i had a little bout with fear.
i didn’t want to. but i did. and i guess i was missing the marine pretty bad.
and trying not to.
so . . . i confided my fear that night to a good friend.
it’s unusual for me to give in to fear. i’ve been taught not to do that.
our dad expected us to face it down. and “buck up” like a man!
yes. i know. but i’m not a man! i sometimes said that to him. LOL.
well . . . we exchanged emails and . . .
my friend bucked me up in his brusque manner that i have come to appreciate.
it’s the same manner of my dad and the marine. so it seemed familiar and good.
and it was that kind of ‘buck up’ talk i apparently knew that i needed i guess . . .
because it got me through that bad night.
and after that . . . the rest of that long week . . . i was just fine.
thank you captain.
” all 6 are reportedly considered benign “.
dr pham called me himself and said it on the phone to me!
not his nurse or office personnel . . . but himself! now how nice was that?
he said . . . “i knew you’d be concerned and it’s always a long wait for this kind of news.”
i just adore him. he looks like he’s 16 years old. and he’s actually 40.
after this is all over he’ll be balancing the medicine that i’ll take to make up
for the lost thyroid. it’s a critical balance apparently. as i bet many of you might even deal with.
so . . . i’m glad i like him so much!
same with my surgeon. he’s beautiful.
i saw him three days ago. oh. i said that didn’t i? LOL.
maybe they’ll fix my short term memory while they’re in there. LOLOL !!!
well. anyway. i love him already.
i only wish i had his energy!
i have pre~op tests on september 12.
i see the cardiologist also before the surgery.
HOPEFULLY for NO MORE nuclear stress tests on my heart.
MAN I HATE THOSE!!! i just had one 8 months ago.
they HURT LIKE HELL. not just heck. i mean HELL.
good grief charlie brown !!!
i’d rather die on the operating table than die while having one of those things!
they always make you sign a release absolving them from killing you in case they do!
i’d say LOL here. and i hope i’m usually not a complainer . . .
but it just ISN’T funny. or fun!
i see one more specialist for my throat on september 16.
my surgery is set for september 19.
so i have some BUSY times ahead for a basically lazy person! LOLOL.
my surgeon has a conference and won’t be back until then.
he said “it can wait til then . . . and yet we want to get it out of there as soon as possible.”
i told him to take some time off from the conference and
that ” my orders ” to HIM . . . are to
” just lounge out by the pool and really really really . . . REST AND RELAX! “
because . . .
” i want you to be nice and rested when you come back to cut on ME !!! “
he laughed this huge laugh and just hugged me.
i like a laughing surgeon. and one that hugs is nice too!
in old days gone by . . . i would be facing the fact of eventually choking to death.
or truth of the matter . . . even in this time . . . if i lived in a remote area . . . or
couldn’t afford care . . . i would just choke to death. not a pleasant death for sure.
how fortunate to live in the era i do . . . and to live where i can get this kind of help.
i’m anxious to get this show on the road. i have good feelings about it now.
i am just a positive pollyanna about it all old bean!
i am beyond thankful.
there is no word big enough for my gratitude.
and yet . . . mine is no big deal.
especially compared to all the terrible suffering going on in this world right now.
all the wretched and wounded people . . . and the little children . . .
in all of these war torn places. sad beyond belief.
and you know their medical care is limited.
stacked up against all that . . . and i do stack it up . . .
my deal is not a big deal at all.
now this . . .
a clean hospital ? the last of their worries.
just getting to safety somewhere to assess the damage ~ a priority.
that’s HIS hospital. right there. and the medic’s.
and a head wound for this young man . . . that just might change his entire life.
and a damaged arm.
oh that it might be alright! for them both. for them all.
THIS is a very big deal.
someone’s son they’re fighting to save here. his leg appears to be gone.
my surgeon operates in two hospitals in our city.
and for me he has chosen to operate in the metroplex heart hospital.
it’s brand new. modern. state of the art as they say.
he said . . . ” in case anything goes wrong with your heart . . . we’ll be right there. READY. “
the way he said that one word “ready” took away all my fear.
i’m in good hands.
and not allstate’s either. LOLOL. although i love that guy’s voice! don’t you?
i’m sorry to be a drama queen. i have to watch that. i’m naturally a HAM.
seriously. i won the ‘ best actress award ‘ in my junior year at high school !
but i also want to be truthful. my laziness has a reason right now.
i may need a break from this beloved peanut and all my dearest friends here.
i just didn’t want you to think i’m slacking off AGAIN!
for pete’s sake charlie brown. i know. i just HAD A NICE BREAK !!!
and i know without your even saying it . . . how much you all wish me well.
it means a lot. we’re a tight group here.
and speaking of one of our group . . .
cc girl . . . time to fix that problem you’ve got i’d say.
you’re too great a cook to then have trouble eating and not enjoy it !!!
i’ve heard of the hiatal hernia and it is not remotely tolerable
for one who loves life as much as you do. PAIN. as in major.
til soon old bean.
i am a loner. but the marine has never been more a sight for sore eyes than lately!
we had lunch yesterday as a matter of fact. and it was early enough in the shade
there on the terrace . . .
there was even an ever so slightly . . . dare i say ‘cool’ breeze? YES !!!
AND . . .
oh most importantly . . .
i just had another thought old bean.
if your own news was not as good as mine . . .
you listen to ME.
do not despair. do not give up.
people are beating this damn thing called cancer.
YES. they’re beating it every single day. times are changing.
and your chances of being one of those people are as good as anyone’s.
you must fight the fight.
you must keep humour in your life. laugh as much as you possibly can.
it creates healing energy in your body. they know that now as a medical FACT.
you need all the help you can get. and that one piece of help is FREE.
read all you can about helping your own self too. the right foods.
there is great research being done in that regarding cancer now.
and the results are nothing short of amazing.
they have found that your body needs to be in an alkaline state as much as possible.
and there are specific foods that do that. the simple lemon in water is a place to start.
and cancer loves sugar.
but then sugar is not good for ANY of us really.
and here’s the wonderful thing . . .
there are foods that actually help your body to fight cancer! find out all you can!
my heart to yours old bean. if you are going through it.
you can do this.
hold fast to the line. hold fast to the line. i love you.