dearest little mother,
i miss you of course. i still do. you left this planet and this plane of life when i was 26. gosh. i’d hardly got to know you. i mean, you know. like grown up women. although after daddy died we became like two grown up women. you turned to me as more of a friend than a ‘daughter of 17.’ i think in your own grief and loneliness you paid me the tribute of thinking i could fill a grown up need for friendship. a friend who knew exactly what you had just lost. because i had loved him so too.
and you became my best friend.
i miss your laughter. and i thank you that you passed that gift on to me. the ability to see the ridiculousness of people’s natures. the silly things we do. the lighthearted way of looking at the world through our tears. it is perhaps the greatest gift you gave me. because you didn’t know it … but i lost my bob only 7 years after losing you. so i needed that way of looking at life.
i miss our singing together. and you always taking the ‘harmony’ because i could never get the hang of it. i wrote a post about you. you are famous! i have a ‘blog.’ it’s a computer world now little mother. so different!
the post is called ‘the good ones . . . letter to rena.’ you remember . . . that letter i wrote to you long ago. i barely touched on who you really were. and how much you mean to me. no words can ever say it. i’m sorry but i posted pictures of you on there too. you weren’t around to ask permission! but i don’t think you’ll mind. they’re good. and they show your warmth. all 100 pounds of you. you were a star to me. as lovely as any star in the heavens. so you are famous here on the peanut. just thought you’d like to know!
that’s the name of my blog. all these funny words that were not even around when you were here.
you lived on popcorn and carmels and frosted flakes. and endless cups of coffee! i used to think you never ate enough vegetables. and you didn’t! and now i probably don’t either. but i know your secret.
you had a joie de vivre that few in my life have ever had. you knew how to live. you never felt ‘cheated’ by life. even though it cut your happiness short. you loved life. and i love life.
and that is the greatest gift you gave me.
i hope wherever you are . . . that you are enjoying yourself now! that you still can eat caramels and are spreading them about like johnny did the appleseeds.
because they are important in the overall scheme of things. the world needs more caramels.
the world needs more little mothers like you.
happy mother’s day my darling.
i will see you again.
the white rose of honor to all our mothers who have gone is courtesy of http://amazingpicturesoftheflowers.blogspot.com
~ and to all mothers everywhere
~ young ~ old ~ and in between ~
those who live near ~ or those who live far ~ or for those of us whose mother is in the mists of time and only a memory now ~
happy mothers day to you! xo
and to those most special ones that weren’t so lucky in fate’s selection of their own mothers ~
but who are now mothers themselves ~
and know the value of true good motherhood ~ well. extra special wishes to you darling ones. you know who you are.
and my heart goes out to you.
til soon old bean.