i love bridges.
i find them fascinating.
and always . . .
even the more mundane ones . . .
a thing of beauty.
to think that man can span huge chasms and deep rushing waters . . .
it is never lost on me that the sheer accomplishment of that is a gift.
but the bridges i want to talk about today are different.
they’re small bridges.
the bridges back from sadness.
sometimes i feel too much.
it is hard to turn if off.
i have many people in my life right now going through very big times.
times of life and death. much darkness. much pain.
i am apparently more of a control person than i think i am!
and i cannot control this. much as i want to twitch my nose in a magical
way and make all the bad go away. i cannot.
and that affected me greatly for awhile and can still . . . if i let it.
i don’t know how you don’t “let it” when these are people you love.
but . . .
life is full of struggles. and we each go through our own.
it’s how we grow.
my bridges are the small rituals in my life.
it’s a funny thing . . . rituals. i don’t particularly like the word.
it conjures up formality when you first think of it.
formality and perhaps superficiality.
but that’s not the kind i mean.
perhaps it’s time i go back to walden in my heart. to quiet. to peace.
in the morning
i rise early.
i have a warm cup of something. usually black coffee. only one.
i sip it slowly. the steam is comforting that touches my face awake.
i turn on the computer.
it makes that little chiming noise of welcome as it gathers information.
i always say “hello world!”
and then i begin to visit favorite sites.
i’m retired now so the day is my own.
i never ever cease to give thanks for that! the gift of time. i earned it.
but it is still like a precious gift that i can’t quite hardly believe each day!
i take the hypertension medicine with spicy hot v-8 juice. WOW!
that’ll wake you up.
then i go in and take a nice refreshing shower. always a shampoo.
usually with pantene. i seldom switch shampoos. i use the shampoo for
body soap as well. one little bottle does it all. you don’t need a separate
product for everything. ‘they’ would like you to think so.
that way they sell more products. but it’s just not true. and it’s simpler.
mid morning i will have breakfast. usually porridge with maybe a slice
of buttered toast.
sometime during the day i will take a walk. i will read.
i will tidy up the wee blink bonnie.
because there are so few ‘things’ in it . . . there’s never much to tidy!
but it feels good to dust surfaces and sweep the floor.
sometimes there are errands to do in town. not many usually.
i live a very simple life. that word seems to be the key word!
lunch is always simple. all my food is really. i’m not a gourmet nor
a gourmand. just simple tasty food. sometimes eaten at the little diner
at our town’s airport.
sometimes shared with the marine at our favorite places.
those are always cherished times. i just enjoy his company.
in the afternoon i will have a cup of hibiscus tea.
i have read that it’s good for lowering your blood pressure.
and mine is always high. even with the medicine. so . . .
i will have a nice calming cuppa.
in the afternoon i read in a real book. one i can hold. it is like visiting
a dear old friend.
a walk outside if the weather permits.
then late afternoon it is time for dinner. i don’t eat late.
in new york and more sophisticated households sometimes dinner
is at 9 pm.
that’s when i’m going to bed. lol. well. maybe 9:30 or 10pm.
before i do . . .
sometime in the early evening i go into the bedroom and turn down the
covers. like they do in good hotels.
i arrange the pillows ready for sleep. no. no chocolate on the pillow!
but just the turning down of the covers is a nice thing to come into when
these are the small rituals of my day.
but they make for continuity.
they are comforting.
and they are a bridge back to being able to cope when sadness comes on me.
i still cannot control all the bad things happening.
but the bridges back make me realize that this life is a gift.
it’s a gift each day. the good. and the bad.
zeke taught me that.
he joyously accepted whatever the day would bring.
even toward the end of his life.
walking was his favorite thing in the whole world.
he would wag his tail in a circle!
as he became more and more ill . . .
he would smile that wonderful doggy smile and be happily content
to simply sit on the grass in his front yard. watching the birds.
watching the neighbor cat. and soaking up the sunshine.
those were his small bridges i guess.
zeke taught me to value the small bridges in my life.
the bridges that carry us from sadness back to living.
i’ll be crossing those bridges today.