that’s not me.
but cut her hair into a pixie cut.
then instead of the swimsuit bottoms put her in a little pair
of denim cut-off shorts . . .
it could be me.
only i wasn’t sitting serenely by the ocean.
why is it our most embarrassing moments in life are the ones so
indelibly printed on our brains? why don’t they fade for us . . .
like certain dates of events . . .
or even what we had for lunch yesterday! ???
bob loved wilderness. i’ve already shared with you what our plans
were intended to be ~ the weekend before we found out he was ill.
backpacking into the wilds of canada.
that is NOT my idea of enjoying the wilderness.
i like to look at it from afar. well. sort of.
i like to be in it also. but i like there to be a paved road out of it.
and one that has a hot shower at the end of it. and a good meal.
i suppose i am not your best candidate for a hiking buddy.
i like sitting on a big rock and looking out to the sea.
or striding down a beach and playing ‘can’t catch me’ with the incoming
we were different in that respect. and yet so much alike in almost
every other way.
but because his idea of heaven . . . after dealing with people all during
his work week was to totally get away where there were no people . . .
only the woods and water . . . well. how could i not go?
he was my bob.
and on this morning we had found what we thought was a beautiful
secluded little area that was perfect.
he’d brought his fishing gear. but i think his real joy was simply in
being ‘out there.’
we had followed a gravel road. then we got out and walked a bit.
the mountain fork river ran through there and you could hear it
before you saw it . . . rippling through the woods.
it branched out over rocks and was deep in the middle . . . as rivers are.
it was a warm summer morning.
we were quiet. i picked out a large rock and sat down.
the breeze on my face was lovely.
i watched him a bit.
then i wanted to explore on my own.
i was wearing a ball cap to shade my face.
i had on a little knit top and very short denim shorts.
remember keds? LOL.
for you young peanut readers . . . they would be prehistoric nikes.
just simple tennis shoes.
i looked around me.
nothing but woods. more woods. a gorgeous forest really.
and the stream. the shallow edges of the mountain fork river.
a perfect day with my man in nature.
i took off my top. and folded it carefully and laid it on his tackle box.
and then my bra.
oh my gosh.
i don’t think you men have any idea how lucky you really are.
the freedoms you have that you take TOTALLY for granted.
you have never in your life worn a tight band around your chest
with little tight straps that dig into your shoulders.
that tight band that you put on in the early morning and don’t take
off until you go to bed.
that tight band that you wear in all weather . . . whether it’s 105
degrees ( 40 c ) or just a beautiful day like this one.
the restriction of it.
and the fact that no matter what you do or where you go . . .
you had better be covered up
from your neck down to your waist
even when you swim.
how very kind of them to finally let us show our ankles.
please forgive me.
if you are of some religious faith that objects to the human body
i certainly don’t mean to offend you. i really don’t.
and i do understand modesty.
but i think of the human body as a work of art.
i don’t think of one part as any different than another part.
it is all simply wonderful. i am like a child that way i suppose.
and it is an amazing thing really . . .
but until you have felt the sun and fresh air
on your whole back and chest without constrictive clothing . . .
well. let’s just say it’s a glorious feeling. simply glorious.
and if there’s a breeze that freshens the air . . .
it’s almost as if the clock has turned back time
and you are a little child again.
the child that knows only
freedom of movement
and beauty in everything around her.
so . . .
now you have an idea of how i was feeling that day
when i had removed everything but my denim shorts and my keds.
i had wandered down the stream about 50 yards or so from bob.
i had skipped a few rocks. i had thought a few thoughts.
i was simply enjoying life. and the birds. and the sound of the
i hear men’s voices.
i peer in the direction of where bob was.
one of the men’s voices is loud.
what in the world?
do i stay here?
do i go?
where is bob?
oh my god. i’m half naked.
i only just now remembered.
i move behind a skinny tree.
the big ones are further into the wooded area. not by the water.
i look like those cartoon characters
the ones who hide behind the tree and you can see them perfectly.
but they seem to think they’re hidden.
even i know i’m not hidden. LOL.
but you gotta work with what ya got. and i ain’t got much.
no pun intended.
i hear laughter.
what are they doing?
and why is it taking so long to do it?
suddenly i have to pee.
suddenly i am furious at ALL men.
suddenly i don’t like these damn woods.
suddenly i don’t know why we always have to go where there’s NOBODY.
suddenly i want to go back to our truck.
suddenly i’m ravenously hungry. i want a hot fudge sundae.
how long do i have to stand behind this stupid skinny tree?
now they’re having a cigarette. oh great.
to make another one of my longggggg stories short . . .
the men’s voices i heard were my bob and the man
who owned the land
on which we were trespassing.
he had been watching us.
WATCHING US!!! ?????
no doubt with binoculars.
and there i was standing behind a skinny little tree trunk.
he FINALLY shook hands with bob and drove off.
i walked back up the stream to where bob was picking up his tackle.
he said . . .
i said . . .
“what does he do? just sit out here in his truck waiting for trespassers?”
“yeah” said bob . . . “especially naked ones.”
and then he laughed that huge wonderful laugh of his.
i forgave men.