Oct 192014
 

registered

GOLD DUST

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” DUSTY “

he called her.

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his pride and joy.

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dustycourtesy:erictrules.com

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that’s just what she looked like.

.

when i was very young

my father always had horses.

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he was an excellent horseman.

he trained many of them for other people.

not as a job . . .  but simply because he loved being around horses.

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he rode beautifully.

he was always one with the horse.

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i can see him in my mind even now.

at one point he owned three of them.

then finally just one.

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he could even gentle horses that were nervous and wild.

they seemed to instinctively trust him.

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and he was ALWAYS their protector.

as in one incident i’ve already told you about.

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if you’re new to the peanut and want to read more about this

fascinating and complex man . . .

please read his little story

in the list of my past posts on the side bar.

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‘ the good ones . . . jim reed ‘

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it’s the stuff of life in which movies are made.

.

he was bigger than life really. to me anyway!

a most unusual man.

.

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his pride and joy was

DUSTY.

she was a registered golden palomino with white mane and tail.

she was glorious!

.

she was just like the family dog to him.

only she was more spoiled than our dog ever was!

LOLOL.

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so at a time in childhood when children establish fears . . .

i learned very early not to be afraid of

horses.

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i STILL simply LOVE all horses. ALWAYS have.

and i have NEVER feared them.

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when we began moving so much due to daddy’s work . . .

we could no longer take her with us all the time.

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what to do with his beloved dusty?

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he could not bring himself to sell her.

he simply loved her too much.

.

SO

he gave her to a church orphanage that had lots of fenced land with it . . .

and a good man to take care of her there.

he had met the man and liked him.

.

they were still called orphanages back then.

i don’t know if they are called that now . . .

in this day of political correctness.

.

for many years

the orphanage would send daddy pictures of dusty with children riding her.

and a report from the man whose sole job it was . . . to care for dusty.

AND

they always accompanied the pictures

with a nice letter thanking him once again for giving her to them.

she made the difference in lots of little children’s lives they said.

.

even so . . .

i’m sure it was bittersweet for him.

and he never spoke of her.

.

all of this i’ve written is just to let you know

why i find so unusual . . .

.

a dream i once had.

.

.

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it’s the most curious dream i’ve ever had in my whole life.

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i can still vividly remember it as if it were yesterday.

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but

i think of the dream hardly ever.

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and yet . . .

 whenever i do think of it  . . .

it’s now always with

a strange comfort.

  not fear.

.

 somehow.

oh i don’t really know!

it’s hard to explain.

.

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eye of whitecourtesy:ron mckinnes. fineartamerica.com

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some of you might already know this next part . . .

.

i was married to bob.

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for many years he’d worked at his business

of landscape design without many holidays.

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working for yourself is often like that.

he was a very talented landscape architect .. so he was kept busy.

but he badly needed a break.  he was tired.

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SO

we were planning a backpacking trip into the wilds of canada.

just the two of us.

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he had always wanted to do that.

LOLOL.

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I HAD NOT ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THAT !

.

but he was bob.  and i was his girl.

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i trusted him.

 i would follow him anywhere.

.

and anyway . . . he was an outdoorsman just like the marine.

.

and i felt safe.  so i was going along.

we were going to be taken in by truck . . . with our canoe.

with instructions for our pick up location at a specific later date.

.

he was so excited!

 i wish i could say i was as excited.

i was trying hard to hide how  . . . NOT excited i was!

LOLOL!!!

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arrangements were already made.

the trip was A GO.

.

then.

one night right before the trip . . .

i had this dream.

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white horse closecourtesy:carl Christensen

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i am asleep.  i awaken with a start.  it’s very late in the night.

it’s still pitch dark outside.

.

and

looking in our bedroom window is a beautiful white horse.

with very dark eyes.

just standing there.  looking in.

so close i can easily see its eyes.

.

no sound.

except for my own fast breathing.

.

 suddenly i feel afraid. a terrible fear.

very afraid . . .

as they say.

.

i look at my sleeping husband. a workday tomorrow.

definitely NOT the time to wake him!  WHERE did this horse come from????

is someone’s horse loose?  should i call out to bob about it?

no.  not yet.

.

i decide to get up.  i go into robin’s room.  she’s also sleeping.

in her window . . . i see . . .

vividly clear . . . in the darkness . . .

.

looking at me . . .

quietly just staring straight at me . . .

.

through her bedroom window . . .

.

the same white horse.

.

sno whitecourtesy:gigja einarsdottir. fineartamerica.com

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 i am very frightened now.

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WHY?

why is it in every window?

is this the same white horse?

looking at me?

looking FOR me?

i just don’t know!

but . . . then

why me?

.

maybe all this is just my silly imagination i’m thinking.

is this really a dream?  because it is real.

of course it is.  this is NOT REAL.

.

i’m telling myself this as i make my way down the hall to the living room.

.

our house is rustic modern.  cathedral ceilings with beams.

there is one whole wall of great windows.

the room is in total darkness.

.

i open the draperies.

.

standing there.  in all it’s pristine glory . . .

a magnificent

white horse.

simply standing there.

not moving.

looking straight at me.

.

you’re here again.

what do you want?

.

.

i find myself wanting to hide from the horse.

i don’t want it to see me.

but there is nowhere to hide from the horse.

.

 it always sees me.

it’s still watching me.

.

but it’s such a very beautiful horse!

.

so calm.

just standing there.

quiet.

simply

always

just there.

.

looking in all the windows.

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beautiful whcourtesy:essentiallyesther.blogspot.com

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i literally RUN back to the bedroom.

bob is still sound asleep.

.

i am shaking.  and cold.

i get back into bed. cuddle near him.

i go to sleep myself.

.

.

.

we do not make the backpacking trip to canada.

instead

bob is hospitalized the monday we were to leave on our trip.

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we spent part of the weekend buying him pajamas.

he never slept in pajamas our whole married life.

.

the tests they took proved to be cancer.

as you know.

cancer of the esophagus.

.

we’re told the tumor is unusual.

in most cases of this kind . . .

 it grows up the lining of the esophagus.

.

bob’s is not.

bob’s cancer is growing outward.

it will soon choke him.

.

.

it would have choked him to death.

somewhere

in the wilds of canada.

in a tent.

with me.

alone.

.

me.

who cannot find her way out of a parking lot.

much less the wilds of canada.

.

.

.

i’ve never had the dream again.

.

and

i’m still not afraid of horses.

even white ones.

.

.

but i have the strangest feeling . . .

what i dreamed . . .

what i saw . . .

was somehow trying to prepare me.

for what was to come.

.

and it was this.

.

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pale horse

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who is to know how we are prepared for some things?

or warned?

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i really don’t know exactly what i believe about all this.

i’ve never been one who thinks dreams are prophetic.

but i’m thinking . . .

if there are such things.

then that is what this dream was.

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i don’t dwell on it of course.

didn’t then.  don’t now.

.

even odd that i should be thinking of it really!

sometimes odd things just trigger memories i guess.

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it was so very long ago.

and now like a different lifetime really.

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it’s just something that happened to me once.

.

.

AND

i can only think . . .

if i had to be warned or prepared in such a mystical way . . .

.

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 what an exquisitely beautiful and loving

white messenger.

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eye of white

til soon old bean.

til soon!

Oct 162014
 

 you are an artist.

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think.

if you were.

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or maybe you are . . .

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forest shadecourtesy:whitesunhome.tumblr.com

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the simple words sunlight and shadow.

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if you only knew what they truly mean.

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this is not my story.

but we will start with what i love.

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i have always loved the sight of sunlight and shadow.

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it makes me happy.

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whether in

a magnificent forest like the one above . . .

actually ESPECIALLY then!

.

or in lovely rooms like these below . . .

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sunlight shadowcourtesy:sfgirlbybay.com.

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bar sunlightcourtesy:aristocator.tumblr.com

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how wonderful is the world of sunlight and shadow.

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and do you know what these next words mean?

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to me?

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successcourtesy:hdwallpapersimages.com

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they epitomize the life of someone i am privileged to know.

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i have not known her long.

she has a blog.

it’s in my side bar.

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i visit it every day. . .

and if i should ever miss a day for whatever reason . . .

i ALWAYS catch up with the posts i’ve missed.

.

she is an artist.

her work is

simple. pure. accomplished.

 filled with light and

love.

.

she is a lover of nature.

and lived always where there was much land.

fresh vegetables from her own gardens.

forests nearby.

.

now she lives in an apartment.

getting used to a different way of life.

.

each work of her art from the past is now a special treasure.

.

.

due to an accident that injured her brain . . .

.

she is now going blind.

there is nothing they can do to stop it.

it is inoperable.

.

there will eventually be no sunlight and shadow in her world.

.

but

it is as if she LIVES the words of florence nightingale

quoted above.

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no excuses.

no bitterness.

.

.

she is simply getting on with life.

.

she lives a full rich life.

.

as she walks this walk given to her . . .

there is a wry humor expressed in each little loss along the way.

.

her blog is full of beautiful images of her work . . .

and her day to day life in this new world she’s approaching.

there is beauty.

humor.  great stories. insights. love.

.

i don’t even remember how i found her.

i think she probably left a comment and i followed her there.

or maybe it was the title of her own blog!

she and i have that in common.

.

.

she HAS to know days of deep despair !!!

i know i would.

.

it makes the tiny problems in my own life and health

feel like

fly dooky.

.

i aspire to her courage.

her acceptance without flailing and wailing.

her ability to overcome as much as she’s able.

.

to be an artist

to have that be your LIFE . . . and what you love

and to be slowly losing your sight.

i cannot even imagine that kind of loss.

.

.

she recently changed her blog to a voice activated one.

thank goodness!

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because her voice would be a loss in this blogland we all frequent.

.

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her spirit is the sunlight.

even as she moves into the shadows.

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it will never be very dark where she is.

she will shine through it.

.

my friend.

laurie.

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her blog is

‘ i love a cloudy day ‘

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find it in my sidebar.

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til soon old bean.

til soon!

Oct 142014
 

i occasionally wonder.

.

do you?

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yellow facecourtesy:bezambee.com

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i wonder.

does a butterfly’s feet stink?

.

and if they do . . .

do they smell like

flowers?

.

butterfly feet

.

and

.

i wonder

why does western medicine have such a colossal ego?

.

why can’t we have both western and natural alternative healing?

.

and both of them have the full respect they deserve?

.

the big insurance companies will

NEVER

cover alternative medicine.

.

it shouldn’t always all be just about

.

DRUGS.

should it?

.

oh tammy.

silly girl.

that’s where the  $$$$$$$$$ is !!!

.

pills

too many of these.

.

there are some medical doctors now like

oz and chopra

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who are changing things slowly . . .

what wonderful men!

true physicians in every way.

.

they know the body mind connection.

and they’re comfortable enough in their own knowledge

to allow fresh new . . . or often even ancient . . .

alternatives

IN !

.

thank heaven for them.

.

quantum healing

.

mind

and

body

.

but mainstream medicine in this country

still considers anything other than the western norm

to be

quackery.

.

there can be a balance.

if

western doctors’  egos will just admit it.

.

awakenings

.

and at the same time . . .

.

even writing this . . .

even as i know the importance of our diet and the foods we choose

.

LOLOLOL !!!!

.

DARN.

.

i can’t help but wonder

WHY

WHY

   WHY ????

.

does all fried food taste so darned GOOD?

and be so bad for you?

.

well.

at least supposedly bad for me.

or so they tell me.

the old

heart thing.

it’s starting to get boring old bean.

.

yes. even fried in canola oil.  they “prefer” i don’t have it.

are they afraid it will be like a drug?

and lead to

OTHER

and even

MORE

fried food?

LOLOLOLOL!!!!

.

just look at these.

tell me your mouth is not watering!

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onion ringscourtesy:myfavoritethings-miranda.blogspot.com

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and

i have to get my mind off that now.

i can see myself heading out the door to the sonic drive in!

to order some.  with ketchup please.

.

.

i wonder if

when birds all line up on telephone wires . . .

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birds on a wirecourtesy:discoverpa.blogspot.com

.

can they feel vibrations?

is it like a little spa for them?

i bet it is!

.

” ah….  feel that lorraine? “

.

” just what i need after a long day of hunting bugs and worms. “

.

” thought i’d never get here! “

.

” hey ralph!  look at that little cutie down the line there . . .  two up from sam . . .

 what a little doll!  wouldn’t mind taking her out for early breakfast hunting! “

.

well.

i just wonder.

.

it might be a spa for them.

they could feel it from their toes right on up  . . .

to their tiny heads!

and . . .

not to mention getting a massage while having the chance

for a nice little chat with each other too.

and . . .

to check out the babes apparently!

LOL.

.

and

.

.

i wonder

why there is always enough money

and people

to keep building these things . . .

EVERYWHERE

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skyscraperscourtesy:vincentloy.wordpress.com

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these amazingly expensive and intricate things

that soar

into the sky

and take such huge resources and time . . .

.

 i wonder why we can do all that

but

we can’t give

THIS

.

one little resource

clean watercourtesy:worldappeal.org.uk

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to

people who need it so desperately.

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the simplicity of fresh clean water and sanitation.

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it just makes me wonder.

.

.

i wonder if the press will

EVER

EVER

EVER

stop referring to celebrities who are

pregnant

.

as

showing

their

BUMP.

.

baby bumps

it’s NOT a bump people.

it’s a

BABY.

.

sorry. just my own little aversion there.  no biggy.

just a bump in the road.

LOLOL!!!  LOLOL!!!

oh.

stop me.

i just crack myself up.

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snoopy laughingcourtesy:charles schulz

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 and

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as a dyed in the wool minimalist

i wonder why the marjority of people in the whole world

still seem to be having

a true and never ending love affair

with

their stuff!

.

i admit.

i don’t knock it.

i just don’t understand it!

.

garage stuff

.

LOLOL !!!

oh my gosh.

makes me tired just looking at that!

.

as a minority . . .

being a minimalist i mean . . .

at first i felt just very strange.  out of step.

always!

  really. growing up i really did.

and now

well.

i feel normal for ME.

but

.

 i still wonder why i never got on the band wagon of wanting “stuff” too.

is it just a matter of  dna?

.

nope.

can’t be.

cause i have both in my dna.

.

my gram was a little pack rat.

a neat one.  but never the less a real pack rat.

my dad was a minimalist though.

i find it all very interesting.

sort of like

day people

and

night people

i guess!

it just is what it is!

.

and finally

yup.

this has gone on way too long.

.

i wonder about

TIME.

.

the older i get

the faster it seems to go by.

is it really going faster?

or am i just seeing the end up closer than before?

LOLOL.

.

for whatever reason

it’s sort of

flying right by!

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the illusion of timecourtesy:pbs.org

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well.

i just wonder about some of this stuff sometimes.

.

do you wonder?

.

til soon old bean!

til soon.

Oct 112014
 

are you there autumn?

are you really coming?

.

amazing little puppy

i just feel it in my bones !!!

.

the rest of you are all already having something they call

autumn!

.

well!

    that is . . .

unless you’re my dear friends who live in

australia and new zealand.

.

or the capt and becky in florida

.

and well

heck !

you know.

i’ve got friends all over the place in warm parts.

.

BUT.

except here . . .

.

 here . . . where i am . . .

yup.

i’m pretty sure it’s ‘ supposed to be ‘ autumn alright.

says so right on the calendar.

.

AUTUMN.

i think i remember it.

.

it used to come about the end of september.

it was always here in october for sure!

.

but not so much lately.

it’s like

SUMMER

here

over and over and over.

.

we have a lovely crispy~cool~fall~sweater day . . .

then

BAM!

as that chef used to say.

.

whatever happened to him anyway?

.

BUT.

i’m still thinking

something

amazing

is going to happen.

I

JUST

KNOW

IT !

.

and it better be autumn!

cuz

it’s my favorite time of the year.

and i’m

READY FOR IT!

.

i even made the most delicious vegetable soup in honor of it.

.

last week

all i wanted was an ice cold popsicle!

.

LOLOL!!!

.

a couple of days last week we had 94 degrees and HUMID.

and the southern part of our state saw many places

close to 100 degrees.  like an oven.  no. a sauna!

HOT.

.

now.

down below . . .

 is pictured our forecast for the next 7 days.

.

look at all those lovely night time lows!!!

and the mild days.

nigh onto perfect weather i’d say old bean.

.

7 day

.

AND

only ONE day next week in the low 80’s.

unless those two days of 79’s try to creep higher.

.

WOW.

.

see?

i’m thinking autumn is trying really hard to get here.

.

told ya!

something amazing is about to happen!

.

LOLOL.

.

and i’m a VERY HAPPY camper!

.

til soon old bean.

til soon!

Oct 022014
 

a love story.

.

a bicycle

an airman in uniform

a bumper

an accident

.

til death us do part

.

the bike

.

i’ll let that image above stay a little fuzzy . . .

it looks like when they soften pictures with a haze . . ..

as if in a dream.

.

it’s rather fitting here.

after all

it’s been so long ago now that it almost seems

like a dream . . .

even to me.

and i lived it!

.

but it’s not a dream.

it happened.

.

and it happened to me.

.

if you’re a longtime peanut reader . . .

you might already guess.

because . . . let’s face it!

there are certainly past posts about some of those fun years

right over there in my side bar.

and you’ve no doubt read most of them.

they were fun weren’t they.

.

i like re~reading them sometimes

just because it brings it all back to me.

and i get to live the moments all over again.

.

nice.

.

but this one particular instance just came back to me the other day.

.

    and  . . .

well.

i’m getting ahead of my story.

 as i usually do.

.

let’s start at the beginning.

.

once upon a time.

there was a little girl.

she was almost 10 years old.

just before that big important birthday.

.

why is 10 so important?

i don’t know!

because even though i was always small for my age

i already felt very grown up.

and i thought 10 meant i was finally really getting there.

LOLOL.

.

interesting that my jacob thought the same thing this summer

when he turned 10.

LOLOL!!!

.

two pony tailscourtesy: djuqyguns.blogspot.com

.

NOPE.

that’s NOT ME of course.

just an image to remind us all that

that is the exact same size i was.

and i chose that picture because that’s how i wore my hair.

.

and . . . .  well frankly  . . .

judging from that little lady’s body language  . . .

maybe there’s a little ‘free spirit’ attitude going on there too?

LOLOL !!!

.

i recognized it right off.

LOL.

.

it was my

own

free spirit that day that got me into trouble.

.

you see . . .

that would be my bike above.

and that would be the truck’s bumper.

and that would be me.

.

i am only allowed to ride up and down my own block.

it’s a long block.  a big neighborhood.

and it’s almost dark time.

.

i am NOT to go around the block.

it’s “dusk.”

  i liked the word even then!   even at 9 going on 10 i have a poet’s soul.

LOLOL !!!

i call it my

” moonlight ride “

.

i have to be in before it gets DARK.

that was ALWAYS the NUMBER ONE RULE.

for the marine and me both.

.

and . . .

this ONE TIME . . .

i decide to be adventurous and go further afield.

.

i not only went around my OWN block.

i went THREE WHOLE blocks over! WAYYY OVER!

 i DID OLD BEAN !!!

.

i am dreamily riding along . . . not going terribly fast . . .

but still at a pretty good little clip.

the air is cool.  my pony tails are fair flying behind me!!!

.

we didn’t wear safety helmets then.

i think the only people who wore a helmet were soldiers and football players.

.

i look at the houses as i pass them.

i look up at the new moon rising in the twilight sky. . .

just barely showing already . . .

beautiful.  so beautiful . . .

WHAM ! ! !

.

the handle bar turns in the wreck and rams into my stomach.

it knocks the breath right out of me.

unconscious.

.

i awaken to a young man in some kind of uniform carrying me.

he sits for awhile  . . .  holding me in his lap.

i’m trying hard not to cry.

.

a lady already has a cold cloth on my forehead.

and an older man is there too . . .

smoking a pipe. i remember the smell of it even.

.

they had been sitting on their front porch.

they had seen me . . .

riding along . . .

looking

UP.

.

it is the older man’s bumper i have collided with.

my knees are all skinned up and bleeding.

my stomach hurts bad

where the end of the handle bar hit it.

.

they are asking me my phone number so they can call my parents.

CALL MY PARENTS ???

.

” NO THANK YOU MA’AM!  NO THANK YOU SIRS!

I’M JUST FINE!  I HAVE TO GO HOME NOW! “

.

and while they’re still protesting . . .

i stagger down their driveway back out into the street

where my little bicycle lay with those dratted handle bars.

the very ones that had knocked me out cold!

.

boy.

did i know i was already in trouble.

i didn’t need witnesses to the fact!

LOLOL.

.

i went home and fessed up . . .

  got bandaged up . . .

.

got grounded for a week.

no bike.  no tv.

.

not so bad.

not like having to eat liver or anything.

.

SO . . .

.

my life went on.

  many years went by.

i had many more birthdays and lived in many different states . . .

in the last state

i grew up very fast.

.

in northnern minnesota . . . 6 weeks before i graduated high school . . .

as you peanut readers all  know ~ my father died of a massive heart attack.

he had been 45 years old for only 4 short months.

.

we had been scheduled to transfer to marion illinois as soon as school ended.

we never made it of course.

.

he was a wonderful man.

i was very lucky there.

with both of my beloved parents actually.

and

don’t think that i ever take that lightly.

sadly we know only too well that not everyone

has that luck.

.

he’s still “daddy” to me even now.

  because he didn’t live long enough for me to outgrow my childhood name for him.

strange.  never thought of that before!  but it’s true.

.

eventually . . . mother and the marine and i

all moved back here to oklahoma.

then gram came from her beloved new york to join us.

.

i guess we did that because

 daddy’s mother and two brothers lived in oklahoma city.

only . . . instead of oklahoma city . . .

we moved back here to norman.

.

somehow it just felt like home right away.  funny how places do that.

 we’d had good memories here for awhile once . . . long ago.

just the happy four of us.

.

.

now.

.

.

FAST FORWARD

.

.

to a thanksgiving day.

.

.

i was then married to bob.

and had been for quite some time.

.

we were having the grand dinner at his parents’ home.

in tulsa.

.thanksgivingcourtesy:twirlit.com

.

we were all sitting around my mother’s~ in~law table.

she always had the most beautiful tables.

ALWAYS.

silver.  china.  crystal.  candles. flowers.

the woman was born to entertain.

and the food was always delicious.

.

SO.

we were all  just sitting around the table . . .

 bob and bob’s relatives mostly.

and me.

.

my own dear little family . . .

the marine and mother and gram . . .

had years before ~ gone back to live in new york.

and yes.  i missed them greatly.

.

anyway.

at this thanksgiving table over pie and coffee . . .

at the end of the meal . . .

everyone nicely full and mellow. . .

.

they all just got to reminiscing.

.

you know how you do at a big family dinner.

i always thought that was so nice.

relaxing and lovely.

.

somehow they all got to talking about silly things that kids do.

the chances they take . . .  reckless behavior etc . . . etc  . . .

.

i heard bob’s dad say . . .

.

”  i’ll never forget that little girl that ran right smack into the back of my truck.

yes sir.  broad daylight and she hit it hard!  knocked herself out!

bob had to carry her to the porch. remember that bob? “

.

     WHAT ? ? ?

and

YES ! ! !

bob had remembered it well.

.

and

 i’m sure you have already guessed it . . .

.

i had met my future husband that very day.

i was 9.

almost 10.

still just a very silly little girl.

.

 that would make him 20.

and also make

our age difference a vast gulf between us!

at least it did at that point in time.

.

good grief.

i hadn’t even noticed how handsome he was!

it never crossed my almost 10 year old mind of course.

i was too worried about the trouble i’d be in for disobeying my parents.

LOLOL ! ! !

.

this was what he looked like about that time . . .

my bob

only when he carried me and held me on his lap that long ago day  . . .

he was in his air force uniform ~ not a jacket like this one.

.

and

.

EXCUSE ME PLEASE

    bob’s dad . . . sir . . .

.

BUT

it WAS NOT   ” broad daylight.”

it was DUSK.

DUSK ! ! !

and

it could have happened to ANYBODY!

.

and

no.

i didn’t say that at the table of course.

.

BUT

of course I DID recognize the incident immediately!

 and admitted

right there . . .

in front of God and Everybody . . .

over thanksgiving pie and coffee . . .

.

ME !

i’m that girl ! ! !

i’m the one who hit your truck ! ! !

.

WOW.

much laughter all around.

and astonishment of course.

you know . . .  at just the way of life sometimes . . .

.

then . . .

.

bob was looking at me

with the strangest look.

just a look

.

across the table . . .

just between the two of us.

.

i grew to know that look well.

.

it was a look

that said

” it was meant to be. “

.

.

.

he was the love of my life.

.

you know that.   from the other stories.

he was the last piece to my life puzzle.

the best piece actually.  the one that completed it.

.

i was widowed at barely 34.

like my daddy . . . bob died young.

44.

only not of heart but of cancer.

.

i thought he was a beautiful man.

.

my bob 2

.

and he was.

inside and out.

.

here are some pictures to prove it.

surely i’m not just prejudiced!  ya think?

LOLOL.

no.  he really was.

.

here’s one of my favorites . . .

one of the last times we went camping.

thus the no shave look.

little did we know he was just an early don johnson on camping trips.

LOL.

.

my bob 3

.

oh my darling bob.

i miss you my boy.

we hardly got a chance to know ye.

.

  such fun we had!

he made life

fun.

.

and this you’ve seen before i know . . .

this was at the very beginning . . .

.

bob and tam

.

laughter was the magic glue of our marriage.

and really . . . of any marriage i think.

.

and also

      to think . . .

.

it all started

with a bicycle wreck.

.

til soon old bean!

til soon.

Sep 302014
 

beauty

majesty

pristine

wind swept

grandeur

.

words.

.

big sur and fogcourtesy:scheperseducation.com ~ travels and chai

.

pure sound.

wind.

sea.

.

to simply stand there

in its presence.

.

big sur.

SONY DSCcourtesy:sheila james ~allthingsconsideredyummy.com

.

i’m not nor have i ever been one to

have a dream.

you know . . .

like

most

 people do.

.

i’ve always been a contented person.

some might even call it more . . .

.

complacent.

.

LOLOL.

i don’t care what you call it.

it simply usually means

i’m happy where i am.

with what i have.

.

my little simple life.

.

and i quite am.

.

but . . . then . . .

there’s

.

big sur.

.

sur bluffcourtesy:sheila james ~allthingsconsideredyummy.com

.

past home of henry miller

.

that pseudo loner.

writer.

friend of anais nin.

.

that irascible curmudgeon with the gift of words.

.

he lived there.

as did

jack kerouac.

.

they knew its magic.

long before anyone else.

long before

the masses.

.

a clarity of light.

sometimes almost too bright.

.

sky and sea.

and ancient stone.

.

sur lightcourtesy: john david vankirk

.

that majestic windswept place.

that place

that holds one’s spirit in its spell

even when

looking at a still picture of it.

.

at least it does my spirit old bean!

and yet i’ve never even been there.

.

i love that there is

a big sur.

.

it captures a wildness in my heart.

a necessary place.

like breathing.

.

just seeing it in a still picture . . .

.

there is not stillness about it.

.

upon seeing it  .  .  .

even if only in a picture  .  .  .

.

one literally

FEELS the air.

FEELS the salty fishy breath of the sea.

FEELS the same strong wind that carves the rock

and bends the tree.

.

there is magic here.

and

timeless mystery.

.

big sur sunset and fogcourtesy:jeff pflueger. new york times.

.

and even if i never see it

though someday i hope i will

.

it is enough

to know

that it is there.

.

my big sur.

.

til soon old bean.

til soon!

Sep 222014
 

a post

 about some of the things

that

.

MAKE MY DAY ! ! !

.

little thingscourtesy: charles schulz

.

well.

you know . . .

first old bean . . .

it’s always going to be

a rainy day.

.

we get so few of them.

the last that we were forecast to receive

never

came.

so keep your fingers crossed for us

ALWAYS!

.

rain staycourtesy:8o-clock.deviantart.com

.

and if it should fall on a pine forest

and make that fresh clean scent of all scents . . .

.

well.

that’s just about

heaven to me.

.

rain on pinecourtesy:aihouqui.com

.

and now . . .

in no particular order . . .

.

i find the following

nigh onto

DELIGHTFUL

too

.

hanging out with my marine.

what am i saying . . .

no particular order?

that is first on the list !

LOL.

.

hanging outcourtesy:calvinandhobbes

.

and

      always . . .

always

any big black dog with ginger eyes

.

ALL dogs really

with ANY colored eyes.

and in ANY size.

.

how i love them.

i cannot even put it into words.

words are so lame.

.

one fine old fellow named jack

smiles at me from WAYYY

across the sea.

he has my heart.

.

if i named them all

it would be a whole other post.

someday i will.

just to speak their beloved names.

and to share them all with you.

.

acemy friend ace. courtesy:calm things blog.

.

levitation !

proof that it exists !

LOLOL.

.

levitationcourtesy:findingbeautyintheordinary.com

.

a perfect day . . .

doing what i love the most . . .

.

perfect day

.

knowing the simple fact

that one of the tiniest forms of life . . .

KISS.

they really do.

.

so

PLEASE ! ! !

watch where you step.

.

snail kisscourtesy:tori barthelmes

.

i live such an exciting life

that

i find one of my favorite things since i’m retired now

is

having a cozy nap.

.

always hated a nap when forced to take one as a child.

now . . .

can’t think of anything nicer.

.

doggy napcourtesy:contentinacottage.com

.

one of my favorite foods.

you can do

ANYTHING

with it!

add anything to it!

i’m so fortunate to be a person not allergic to it . . .

.

peanut butter.

i like mine extra crunchy.

simplicity at its best.

.

peanut butter sammycourtesy:simplyrecipes.com

.

and oh man . . .

try

grilling it.

YUM!

.

grilled p and jcourtesy:noshtopia.com

.

and always.

one of my most favoritist things . . . as jacob used to say . . .

always

an open window!

.

one of life’s singular joys.

.

open window

.

the cool air.

whether a view to the sea . . .

a green forest . . .

a busy street . . .

or

even the most mundane sight one can imagine . . .

simply

the open window.

.

a symbol to me of

freedom.

simplicity.

the good life.

home.

.

and this thing . . .

this amazing

much hated much loved

all at the same time . . .

THING !

.

it brings me the whole wonderful world.

science. art. history. people. weather. laughter.

as a matter of fact . . .

every single time i sit before it and turn it on . . .

i say

” hello world ! “

.

it has brought everything to my doorstep . . .

not to mention

a host of valued and ever closer friends.

.

like

YOU OLD BEAN !

.

computer and mouse

.

oh the times though . . .

that i’ve almost

kicked it out the dang window !!!!

.

well.

.

i could go on and on and on.

i’ve never even touched on

1/100th

of all the things that make me

joyous.

.

BUT

part of the new deal around here

is that i’m more brief.

LOLOL.

right.

.

less time on this thing.

more time in the fresh air.

so.

while i’ll have to find a place with

AIR CONDITIONING right now . . .

to do my walking . . .

because it’s still hot and humid . . .

.

i’m outta here.

it’s almost the first official day of autumn.

.

THAT

is another thing at the top of my list . . .

beloved

autumn.

.

i hear it on good authority that it’s actually going to get here!

eventually.

.

tell it to the weather in my state.

PLEASE !

.

thank you.

.

AND

hey . . .  good friend  . . .

i wish for you whatever list makes your day joyous too!

.

til soon old bean.

til soon!

Sep 202014
 

george.

grandad

the picture of the elegantly dressed young boy above

is my

maternal grandfather.

.

my mother’s dad.

my mother was an only child.

.

he’s pictured here with his baby brother kent.

he had one other brother named harold.

.

george had a beautiful mother with sky blue eyes.

she died at the young age of 36.

pulmonary disease.

.

he was just a young boy . . .

but old enough and close enough to her to take it very hard.

.

she was educated and refined and of an old money family.

they were disappointed in her choice of mate . . .

my great grandfather.

.

BUT

she loved my great grandfather and was apparently head strong enough

to make it happen anyway.  a very rare thing in those days i imagine.

they married.

and

because she was so adored by her family . . .

she was not disinherited . . .

nor were her three boys.

.

the only reason i mention this here is that i recently completed watching

the new ken burns documentary on

‘ the roosevelts ‘.

.

it got me to thinking . . .

how much of us is simply in our dna?

traits . . . likes . . . dislikes . . .

from people in the past whose blood is still coursing through our veins

so to speak.

people we didn’t even really know that well or even at all . . .

how much of us is actually them?  they?

.

george came into quite an inheritance.  all three of the boys did.

he grew up to be an unbelievably handsome man.

he looked very much like a young paul newman.

.

he married my gram.

.

he probably shouldn’t have.

because he never lost his eye for the ladies.

other ladies that is.

.

he was a gentleman.

he carried a sterling silver engraved flask inside his jacket pocket.

he always wore beautifully cut clothes.

drove immaculate automobiles.

traveled extensively.

had a delicious sense of humor

and

dearly adored the marine and me.

.

he liked fine things.

and unlike his two brothers . . . who invested well . . .

in manhatten property . . .  and other shrewd things . . .

i’m sorry to say that george squandered his own fortune.

they say there is a black sheep in every family.

granddad was the one in his apparently.

.

he and my gram never got a divorce.

she refused.

in the state of new york at that time . . .

it was not a pleasant thing to go through.

(is it ever?)

they remained legally separated the rest of their lives.

and yet . . .

she was by his bedside when he died.

i’d like to think i have inherited some of her own qualities.

.

what creates our internal choices?

i think of george sometimes when i wonder at some of the

things i naturally gravitate to . . .  and always have.

.

i love new york.

he loved new york.

.

and new york in the rain in the autumn . . .

well . . .

.

new york in the rain

courtesy:derekolsonphotography.com

.

i love all things english.

from the climate to the architecture to the

tradition.

and the history . . .   even bloody as it was . . .

and yes . . .  even to the royals.

and the villages and the literature.

oh my!

.

i love the sheer continuity of england.

.

and is there nothing more wonderful than the

black london taxi !

.

english taxi

courtesy:enchantedengland.tumblr.com

.

i used to tell people . . . when i was three . . .

” i’m a yankee. “

.

it did not endear me to my great grandmother on my father’s side.

she literally HATED all yankees.

  LOLOL.

.

i remember nothing about her.  she died way before i could remember her.

i’ve been told i was not her favorite for sure.

she tolerated my mother . . .  the first real “yankee” she’d ever met.

.

i never got a lot of clothes bought for me each school year.

saddle shoes when i was little gave way to

penny oxfords when i was older.

those were always a purchase.

but other than that . . .

very few new clothes ever.

things that grew too old finally got replaced.

.

i had slim skirts and sweaters and the proverbial pearls.

yup.

preppy i suppose.  though i’d never heard that word.

it was simply how my mother dressed.

was she preppy?  i guess. though i always thought of her way of dressing

as simply classic.

.

clean lauren lauren look tweed

.

no fussiness.  she was simply lovely to me.

but now that i see it . . .

it was no doubt preppy.

BUT

 without

the attitude.

LOL.

any  ‘ attitude ‘ would have been forbidden

IMMEDIATELY.

.

i remember a book bag that looked similar to this one below.

i carried it until it was well worn

.

book bag

oh !

and my favorite !  a little metal red tartan lunch box !

do you remember those?

.

tweed and tartan.

.

favorite tartan

.

i’ve always loved them both.  they were part of my childhood.

i remember a little blackwatch coat with a black velvet collar.

.

black watch

i just never tire of tartan.

.

in clothes . . . in scarves . . . throws . . .

and i know people who hate it !

our tastes are so odd . . .

aren’t they?

that’s why i wonder if it’s just a visceral thing.

who knows?

.

when bob first saw me i was wearing

a charcoal grey blazer with a crest on the pocket

and a cream turtleneck sweater underneath.

grey flannel bermuda shorts

and wine colored knee socks.

.

people weren’t dressing that way then.

they were dressing in the hippy fashion that was wildly popular at the time.

or either in

mod twiggy go-go boots!

that look was equally popular.

.

it just wasn’t me.

i liked it though.  i thought it looked like fun!

.

all through childhood . . .   i couldn’t wait for Halloween!

i always was

A GYPSY !!!

.

oh the bohemian delight of it!!!

i often wished i could pull off that look in everyday life.

i love it!

but it just wasn’t me.

.

i’ve said that twice now.

” it just wasn’t me. “

.

if we learn nothing else in this world  . . .

we should learn to always

be ourselves.

to be happy just being ourselves.

.

i guess i was always hopelessly a preppy.

well.  i WAS. i cannot tell a lie.

and now

i’m just an

OLD PREPPY.

.

LOLOL.

.

on second thought . . .

NOW . . .

i’m merely a comfortable schlep !

i dress very cheaply and simply for here at home in the wren house.

and am i ever comfortable!

LOLOL.

.

but even though i seldom buy any clothes now . . .

when i do . . .

i notice they are still the same as i’ve always worn.

.

fashions came and went.  they still do of course.

i’ve always had very few clothes.

but

what i had was quality.

learned that from my mother and grandmother.

and no doubt . . . my great grandmother that i never even met.

.

a good camel hair coat.

.

camel hair coat

.

and

a burberry trench coat.

.

tweed.

flannel.

tartan.

simplicity.

classic.  and basic.

.

” use it up.  wear it out.  make it do or do without. “

gram taught me that quote at a VERY young age.

anyone living through that great depression of 1929 no doubt learned it.

.

there is a difference in the regard for money that

‘ old money ‘ people have.

.

they are not about

show.

.

they couldn’t care less if you think they have it or not.

they are about looking well and taking care of things.

.

not a bad way to think in this

‘ throw away ‘ society we live in today.

.

and speaking of old loves . . .

how about a porch

cozy

inviting

comfortable . . . not conspicuously sumptuous at all

just

lovely

and inviting.

at least

to me.

.

porch

shades of aunt mabel and uncle penny . . .  and their porch . . . i so enjoyed . . .

and granddad . . .  and gram . . .

and my dear little beloved mother . . .

 and all those

” yankees “

.

 therein lies my love of wicker no doubt!

LOL.

well.

.

til soon old bean.

til soon!

Sep 162014
 

sir stuffington

as pirate captains go

I’VE GOT THE BEST ! ! !

.

he’s kind of like a marine.

” see the hill.  take the hill. “

.

he found the problem and my site is already back up and running

just like jesse!

.

i presume that means cause jesse james ran from the law.

LOL.

.

the picture of the pirate cat above is for real.

that is

sir stuffington.

.

he’s a one eyed rescued kitty.

.

they make the very best pirates.

.

he was homeless.

covered with fleas.

hurt.

one eyed.

and left for dead.

.

he’s now rescued.

 in a happy home.

loved.

treasured actually.

.

just thought you’d like to know.

.

and to my

real life

male human

MAN SIZED

pirate captain fritter . . .

THANK YOU ! ! !

SO MUCH ! ! !

.

til soon old bean.

til soon!

Sep 162014
 

AWWW . . .

sick little peanut.

.

sick peanut

.

all of a sudden

the captain is getting messages

that the peanut has no more room.

.

he says there is plenty of room

and he’s thinking something else might be wrong.

he’ll take it down this afternoon for awhile.

or

longer if it takes longer to fix it.

.

he’s on top of it.

and it’s coming at a very busy time for him.

.

this is just a friendly site monitored by him

because he is my friend.

it’s not one of his money making projects.

i’m thankful for him spending any time on it at all.

.

i’ve assured him

it’s

” peanuts “

compared to his making a living!

so there is certainly

NO HURRY.

.

so

bear with us.

.

we’re having some technical difficulties

and will be back as soon as we can!

.

til soon old bean.

til soon!